Do you remember when you were a kid and your parents would nag you to do the washing up, save your pocket money or bathe significantly more regularly than you were inclined to? Remember how annoying it was at the time, and how you wished they’d lighten up and get off your back for a bit? Then, as you became more independent, you grudgingly realised they might have been right about some things…
Sound advice or know it all?
Have you ever been given some repeated advice from a family member or friend that you have ignored but then taken the same advice to heart when you have read it an article, or heard it from a stranger you got talking to on the train? Only then did you realise that your loved one was acting in your interests, rather than being a know it all.
Perhaps you have hired a mentor, personal trainer or coach purely because you know they will push you to your very limits and not take your excuses, then hated them vehemently for doing exactly what you are paying them to? Bet you got results though – I know I did. Several years ago I hired a mentor to help me achieve in just one year all of the following: to be successfully (financially, productively and emotionally) running this business, to meet the love of my life, to be living in the house of my dreams and achieve a body that was fit and healthy. I had none of these when I hired him. At times I hated him and wanted to fire him (I contracted with him that I couldn’t), but just nine months later, he called and we laughed when he said I could legitimately fire him as I’d achieved all my goals. He’s now a great friend – and even conducted my wedding ceremony to the wonderful man I met during his mentorship.
Are you ready?
There’s a saying, ‘When the student is ready, the teacher appears.’ This can mean that when we are ready to hear or learn something, it will come to us. It can also mean that the ‘teacher’ has been here all along but it’s only when we are willing to listen in a deeper way that we recognise them for what they are.
One of the question steps on the ‘Pathway to the Green’ that we walk in the War to Peace workshops is ‘What could be the positive intention behind the thing (the person you are in the Red with ) is saying or doing?’ If you find yourself in conflict with someone, it can be difficult to see their behaviour objectively, but seeking to find a positive intention behind their actions is one very good way to start.
Over to you
- Imagine for a moment that the people you find most difficult to deal with are actually your greatest teachers. What are you willing to learn from them?
- Project yourself forward a few years (or 20 or so if it’s helpful) and look back on the situation you are finding difficult right now. What learning does the older, wiser you see is available?
- What will you do today to become a ready student?
Do you know someone who could benefit from War to Peace®?
If you know someone who would benefit from recognising some alternative reasons for other people’s reactions, our next open-access War to Peace® workshop dates can be found here: To book your place, click here.
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“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
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©Halcyon Global 2019
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