The Spiral of Disempowerment™

If you want to better understand your relationship dynamics and the impact you are having on the people in your life, try out our FREE Spiral of Disempowerment™ tool:


When we are at War (or in conflict) with someone, we think they should change. Or, at the very least, we believe they should stop doing / saying the thing that is bothering us.

We become self-deceived when we are in conflict; we unconsciously fool ourselves. Typically, we
focus on his or her wrongness and fail to notice our own behaviour, or how we are being.

If we do notice, we tend to believe that how we are being towards them is justified, warranted even, as “they started it”. We tell ourselves that anyone would do the same under the circumstances. Often, we will have also enlisted a number of allies to attest that we are right about our assessment of the person and the situation. Sound familiar?

The Spiral of Disempowerment™ reveals to us our (often unconscious) role in the conflict. It shows how our perceptions, beliefs and emotional state create in us a way of being that invites from the other person the very behaviour we say we want to change.

It is called the Spiral of Disempowerment™ because when we are at War with someone, it seems like we have no choice over how we are being, feeling or behaving toward him or her. It can feel like we are going around in circles, with no influence over the person we are on the receiving end of. It is a very disempowering experience.

This is how we deceive ourselves into not taking responsibility for the relationship we have established. The Spiral of Disempowerment™ helps us to uncover this self-deception.

Understanding my relationship dynamics: FREE Spiral of Disempowerment tool:


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