Posts Tagged ‘conflict’

Are you ‘sh****ing’ all over the place? 3 steps to breaking the habit.

Tuesday, April 25th, 2017

That’s ‘should-ing’, in case you were wondering…

Sometimes we’re so hard on ourselves aren’t we? We tell ourselves we shouldn’t have said that, we should be better at something, we shouldn’t have eaten that, we should have been kinder to someone, we should have understood something that we didn’t – our list of ‘should-ing’ all over ourselves is endless.

'Should-ing' on ourselves

What happens when you listen to that voice that tells you should or should not have said or done something? I’m betting that you do one of the following:

  1. Start justifying in your head why you did / didn’t do or say it
  2. Have an argument with yourself
  3. Beat yourself up
  4. Declare to yourself you will never do such a thing from this day henceforth (until you do, then you repeat 1-3)

Productive, eh? Super unhelpful too!

Situational 'should-ing'

This is what happens when we believe that something should or should not have happened e.g. we get fired, someone we care for gets sick, a rail crash occurs, we didn't get the pay rise we were expecting etc.

What typically happens when we believe that something should or should not have happened is that we feel bad. It can feel like our day (week / month / year / life) has been ruined because of this external thing. But is this really true? Can we know for certain that this isn't exactly what was meant to happen? That in fact something good may come out of this situation if we search for it?

The thing is, when we 'should' about it, it doesn't make the situation any better and it doesn't make us feel any better, yet we still allow these 'shoulds and 'should nots' to go unquestioned in our minds, leaving us feeling like a victim of our circumstances.

'Should-ing' on them

You might be okay with should-ing all over yourself, or about external events, but what ‘shoulds / should nots’ do you hold about other people?

A commonly held should is that “people shouldn’t lie” or “people should always be honest”. What happens when someone doesn’t live up to this should statement and they do lie or they are not 100% honest with us? Well, it’s likely that we will judge them, feel disappointed by them and may end up in conflict with them.

Whilst it may feel good to know that we'd never do something like that (unless of course we have one rule for us and another for them, I mean sometimes our circumstances were such that it would have been impossible not to, right....?), if we leave our sh****ing ways unquestioned, we may be inviting the very thing from people that we say we hate.

Just take a look at our FREE Spiral of Disempowerment Tool™  if you would like to see how this can play out in our relationships.

The truth about 'should-ing'

Our shoulds come from our beliefs, which are filled with some common misconceptions:

  1. Our beliefs are the truth
  2. The truth is obvious
  3. Our beliefs are based on factual data
  4. The data we select are the true facts

The reality is very different, as shown in Peter Senge’s Ladder of Inference:

Slide1

So the things that we believe to be 'facts' and the ‘rights and wrongs’ of life have actually been developed through our lenses of culture and experience, which have resulting in us making assumptions and drawing conclusions that we believe to be true. The more times we climb the ladder, the more entrenched this belief becomes and the more factual and real it seems to us, as the reflexive loop means that we are unconsciously searching for evidence that we are right.

Knowing this can help us to question some of the ‘shoulds’ and 'should nots' that are no longer serving us.

How to overcome your unhelpful 'should-ing' ways

Spend some time this week noticing the times you ‘should’ on yourself or others and:

1.  Ask yourself, who made up this 'should / should not' rule and is it serving me?

If it is one of your own and it’s working for you, well great!  Just notice the times that it doesn’t serve you in your relationship with yourself or with others.

So, for example, if you notice yourself in conflict with someone, it is likely that they have said or done something that you think they shouldn’t have and it’s worth seeing whether applying your ‘should’ belief to someone else works as well as it does in its application to you e.g. it could be that someone learned to lie from an early age because they learned that truth telling had violent consequences. Perhaps for them, telling lies was the only way to survive and it is still serving them in some way that we don’t know about.

2.  Ask yourself - is this ‘should or should not’ really true?

Imagine some occasions when it would be better if they had, for example, lied. If this is one of your shoulds and you hold onto it very tightly, it maybe that it would be very difficult to ever surprise you (e.g. with a party or the perfect gift) or it maybe that no-one will ever want their children to be near you around Christmastime for fear you may tell them the ‘truth’ about Santa.

3.  If your shoulds are not working for you, then make up a belief that does!

Spend some time making up the beliefs that do work for you. We say ‘making up’ because, as we know from the Ladder of Inference, all the beliefs from which our shoulds and should nots derive are made up, so we may as well choose the ones that work well for us.

One of our favourites beliefs at Halcyon Global for when things don't go the way we planned them to is: “It’s as meant”. We don’t know if this is true or not, but the whole time we believe that anything should be different to how it is, it causes us distress. We have no more evidence of the 'should's' validity than this new 'it's as meant' belief, so go on, make it up and see what is available to you when you believe it.  

Do you know someone who could benefit from War to Peace®?

If you know someone who would benefit from learning how to feel better about their relationships with their family, colleagues and friends, we are running our next open-access War to Peace® workshop in London on 13 October. To book a space, click here. Please note, we have just 8 spaces left.

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“3 ways to stop you from 'sh****ing' all over the place. Break this habit today!”

 

 

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©Halcyon Global 2017

Photo Credit: Oleksiy Mark/Shutterstock

Two words you might never want to say

Tuesday, March 21st, 2017

“Why do you always spend too much money?”

“It drives me mad that you never spend any time with the kids!”

“You’re always late.”

“My boss never appreciates the care and attention I put into my work.”

Do any of these sound familiar?

‘Always’ and ‘never’ are such black-and-white words aren’t they? They’re defining and clear. How much easier it is to pigeonhole someone if they ‘never’ clear up after themselves or are ‘always’ rude?

Yet people aren’t black and white: we are a million shades of grey according to mood, circumstance or method of communication. Black or white are in fact pretty rare states in the human condition, but to make our thought processing easier, our minds collect data about the people around us and draw quick conclusions in order to make sense of the world and to help differentiate amongst the greys. Behaviours are exaggerated to fit a pattern that we see emerging, and then labels are formed.

In our War to Peace workshops, exaggerating and using these words is one of the ‘Unlucky 7’ signs that you may be at War. Noticing that you are using ‘always’ or ‘never’ about a person you are finding difficult (or about yourself) is a warning bell that you need to stop and examine the evidence.

Rachel’s story

Rachel was feeling very low about her relationship with her young son. In particular, she found his high energy and need for interaction exhausting and she felt that she couldn’t keep up. This left her feeling both guilty and angry. When Rachel described her son’s behaviour to the group, she used phrases like ‘he always makes such a noise tearing around the house’, or ‘he never stops!’ She was equally damning of herself when she talked about her own behaviour in reaction to his, saying ‘I never play with him anymore’ and ‘I always shout’. Rachel was at War both with her son and with herself.

Working with a partner at the workshop, Rachel began to examine how much truth was behind the statements she had made. She realised that her son did have calmer moments: they enjoyed snuggling up and looking at his magazine together on a Saturday morning; he enjoyed baking with her; and that he was always engaged when she and her husband read him his favourite book at bedtimes. Rachel also realised that, although she wanted to make the games longer and more frequent, she did play football with him once a week. And that there were plenty of times when she would talk, sing and giggle with him with no shouting whatsoever.

Rachel’s feelings towards her son’s behaviour softened and became much less defensive, and she was able to stop feeling guilty about her parenting too. This enabled her to work on actively finding opportunities to have fun with her son at an energy level they were both comfortable with, which has led to much a happier place for them both. Not ‘always’ happy, nor ‘never’ cross, but at a much better place in between.

Over to you

  • Be on the lookout for ‘always’ and ‘never’ creeping into the language you use to describe others’ behaviour or your own, and notice how these statements make you feel.
  • Examine the evidence behind those statements. Could you prove them in a court of law?
  • Find a recent example of when that statement wasn’t true – when they weren’t late, for example. Notice how this new perspective shifts your feelings. Incidentally, if you start making excuses for why this example doesn't count, know that it's normal to do this when we are at War. Take a deep breath and try using our Spiral of Disempowerment™ tool.

Do you know someone who could benefit from War to Peace®?

If you know someone who would benefit from learning how to feel better about their relationships with their family, colleagues and friends, we are running our next open-access War to Peace® workshop in London on 13 October. To book a space, click here. Please note, we have just 9 spaces left.

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'Always trying hard? Never appreciated? We know the feeling!

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©Halcyon Global 2017

Is it you or is it them?

Friday, February 3rd, 2017

Alison had experienced some tough office politics a few years ago and came to a recent War to Peace® workshop feeling very stressed. She had left that troublesome organisation but wasn't faring much better in her current company. She was now in her second role and explained that she had the constant worry that people were thinking the worst of her and talking about her behind her back. This made her edgy and defensive, which affected both her relationships and her productivity at work, thus often making her fear become a reality.

During the workshop, Alison described a recent situation at work. She explained that there has been an error in the numbers she'd been given to present at a recent meeting with senior members of staff. It was a minor mistake, she said, and easily rectified, but Alison couldn’t shake the worry that her colleagues thought her incompetent and she remained furious with the person who had made the error, even though she herself felt this was an overreaction.

When she saw three of her colleagues talking in hushed tones a little later, she became convinced that they were talking about her and she felt the familiar feelings of dread settle on her, accompanied by her defensive, reactive behaviour.

Perhaps it's nothing to do with you...

Alison explained that she often found herself reliving work incidents in her mind and re-experiencing the associated emotions of stress, shame and anger. The incident with the inaccurate figures and the subsequent worry was just an example of something that was happening on a very regular basis and bringing Alison into a mire of negativity.

Inspired by a question in the Pathway to Peace exercise at the workshop, Alison began considering the possibility that what people were doing and saying had nothing to do with her. This helped her to try something new. Each time she found herself interpreting a colleague’s perceived mood as having something to do with her, she would write a list of all the other reasons she could think of as to what else could be going on for them. For example, the staff members talking in a whisper could have been one of them sharing a personal problem, hand-325321_640talking about an illicit affair one of them was having or discussing a delicate health matter instead of talking about Alison’s presentation. The boss frowning this morning may have had more to do with the sun being in his eyes or the fact he had a headache than with the quality of Alison’s work.

By listing the many reasons that her workmates might be reacting the way they appeared to be, Alison lifted the heavy burden she'd been carrying on her shoulders. It also helped her to become less self-absorbed and consider that her colleagues may also find work challenging at times. This gave her greater capacity to focus on what she could do to help them and, at the same time, feel much less edgy and defensive. As a result, not only did her mood lighten considerably at work, her relationships with her colleagues become much more lighthearted and easier to deal with, meaning she was far more able to be the productive and competent manager she had always wanted to be.

Over to you

  • Could you be unfairly blaming yourself or others for what you perceive people to be thinking or doing?
  • What other reasons could they have to behave in that way?
  • Consider how these other possibilities could change your response to a more helpful one.

Do you know someone who could benefit from War to Peace®?

If you know someone who would benefit from recognising some alternative reasons for other people's reactions, our next open-access War to Peace® workshop is on 3 March 2017 and we have just three spaces leftTo book your place, click here.

 

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©Halcyon Global 2017

 

photo credit: CEBImagery.com via photopin cc

Are you in need of an emotional detox?

Thursday, January 5th, 2017

The holidays. How were they for you (really)?

If you had a brilliant time, that’s great. However, if your irritation at family members over the festive period has rumbled on into January and you’re finding it hard to shake off, you’re not alone.

On the War to Peace workshop, we talk about what we are ‘feeding’ our emotional state. This might be nourishment (self-care, laughing with friends, meditation etc), or it might be junk (late nights, gossiping, addictive behaviours etc), and what comes out, in terms of emotional resourcefulness, is pretty much a reflection of what goes in.

At Christmastime, our emotional state – and our bodies – tend to get fed lots of rich food and alcohol, high expectations (both our own and others’), and, often, a personal space filled with visitors, decorations and presents galore. It’s a potent mix, and one that can be overwhelming on its own, before adding in a potentially tricky relationship or two. No wonder so many people are at War over Christmas!

Of course, there are plenty of ways to deal with a warring state of mind, but if you find yourself on the other side of Christmas, battle-scarred and bitter, read Caroline’s story and see if it can help you to bring yourself – and your relationship with the ones who have irked you - back to being ‘at Peace’.

Caroline’s story

Photo by Barry Solow

Photo by Barry Solow

"My dad and stepmother came to visit for a few days over Christmas. My stepmother is always ‘high maintenance’ so I prepared by shopping and preparing food in advance (often a sticking point) and arranging plenty of ‘escape’ times with my husband so we could get a breather. However, she seemed determined to push every button going: moaning, complaining and criticising everything from my weight to my parenting skills. Although I started off coping well, by the end of her visit, my emotional resources were at an all-time low and I cried with relief when they drove away.

However, a few days later I realised that I was letting her ruin the rest of my holiday too. Over the New Year and beyond, I found myself telling anyone who would listen about how awful she had been. Each time I told the story, I wound myself up further and further until I felt as angry as I had done when she was criticising me. But she wasn’t even there anymore. I was doing it to myself!

Eventually, my husband – who had been as upset as I had – suggested that we continued to talk about the experience if we needed to, but with some guidelines. We would only talk about it with each other and rather than judging my stepmother's behaviour, we would just let off steam about our own feelings. Finally, we agreed that each discussion (or vent!) would be a maximum of ten minutes. A few days later, we found that we had stopped talking about it.

When we were creating allies by moaning about her to other people, we had been inadvertently fuelling the fire that she had started. When we stopped, but gave ourselves permission to vent occasionally, the flames of our anger died down quickly. I felt able to send my stepmother a chatty email a few days later, and my husband and I have discussed ways of keeping contact with her in a way that we now find manageable. By shifting our attention away from complaining about her behaviour that we could do little about to what we could do something about – our feelings and future arrangements – we regained perspective and were able to be at Peace again."

Over to You

  • Could you be giving someone else power over your feelings by replaying a bad situation over and over in your head and in your conversations?
  • What parts of this remembered situation do you have any power to change?
  • What could you do to stop being 'at War'? What will you do?

Do you know someone who could benefit from War to Peace?

If you know someone who would like to stop being at War with a family member, colleague or friend, we are running our next open-access War to Peace workshop in London on Friday 3 March. To book a space, click here. Please note, we have just 4 spaces left.

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Need an emotional detox? Try this!

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©Halcyon Global 2017

Letting off steam – or blowing your top?

Monday, October 10th, 2016

When we’ve been wronged in some way by someone, it’s natural to feel hurt and upset. When people around us see that we are upset and ask about what’s happened, our instinct is often to tell them.

Imagine you are walking to work and a stranger barges into you, spilling coffee on your jacket and knocking you to the floor before disappearing without a sorry. When you arrive at the office, dishevelled, you are highly likely to tell your colleagues what happened – it can be cathartic to share the experience, after all. You're unlikely to see that person again and, when you have been given a coffee and commiserated with for a few minutes, you can clean up your jacket, take a deep breath and get on with your day.

letting off steamBut what about if the person who wronged you is someone you have to see regularly? A colleague, friend or family member, for example? Is it always healthy and cathartic to tell others about what has happened to you, or could you end up getting into an unhelpful place of gathering of allies?

Gathering allies is one of the signs of being at War (or going into conflict) that we talk about in the War to Peace workshops. If we are a country about to go to war – or a person about to become in conflict with someone – we've learned that it's in our interests to get as many people as possible to be on our ‘side’.

So the barging stranger example earlier isn’t generally going to be a War situation – it’s hopefully just an annoying thing that happened on the way to work.

But what about if Wendy still hasn’t written that report that you need for your presentation tomorrow – and she promised it three days ago? And what if she did this to you last week as well, and you had to pull an all-nighter to get ready for the big meeting? Is it OK to have a moan to your colleagues? You’re really annoyed, naturally, and it’s cathartic, right?

What about if your colleagues join in with your moan and tell you that Wendy left them waiting a few times too, and that her work was sloppy when it arrived? Would that make you feel better or worse? Does the conversation still feel cathartic, or is it starting to feel toxic? How would you feel if Wendy walked into the room as you were talking? And is your relationship with Wendy getting any better as a result of sharing your frustrations? Would you think to include the times that she had helped you or done some fantastic work in this conversation? (By the way, when we go to War with someone, it's largely unconscious and means it's usually very difficult to recall much good about the person or anything they've done).

There’s a big difference between a short ‘vent’ into a journal or to an unconnected friend and a gathering of allies such as the example above. The first allows us to let off steam, which often helps us to move on and deal with the problem at hand; the second only sends us further into the war zone by reinforcing to ourselves and others how 'right' we are about the person, and gathering further reinforcement and evidence of this from our allies. In short, it’s a quick route to being at War.

In the meantime, Wendy is wondering how she is going to get through another day on no sleep when she's been caring through the night for her sick mother for a month now. She's so distraught, she daren't talk about it for fear of crying at work and looking "unprofessional." If only you'd known what was going on for her...

Over to you

  • The next time you find yourself telling someone about a ‘wrong’, ask yourself: "Am I having a cathartic vent or gathering allies?"
  • Notice what story you are telling yourself and your allies. How do you feel about yourself and the person you talked about afterwards?
  • How can you find more inner resources at times of difficulty? (clue – try starting with the ideas in this post or this one)

Do you know someone who could benefit from War to Peace?

If you, or someone you know, would like to experience how to let off steam in a healthy way and learn how to be at Peace, even with the people you find most difficult, our next open-access War to Peace workshop is on 3 March 2017. We only have 8 spaces left and spaces sell out quickly (especially our reduced priced tickets) so if you would like to attend, do book yours today.

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Are you letting off steam or blowing your top?

 

 

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©Halcyon Global 2016

 

 

Digging over the past

Monday, September 5th, 2016

Theresa’s husband had been having an affair for over two years before she found out.

During that time, they had lost two parents between them to cancer, gone on the holiday of a lifetime to Australia and supported their son through a nasty case of bullying. Theresa felt that they had been there for each other, loved and enjoyed each other’s company through all of this, and that they were rock solid.

worker-30240_640Finding out about the affair through an acquaintance had brought her world crumbling around her. Immediately, she set about raking through her memories of the two years it had been going on. The day before her mother’s funeral, her husband had been out all day; he couldn’t attend their son’s school leavers’ service as he had been on a ‘business trip’; he’d spent a lot of time on his smartphone when they were in Australia and she’d assumed he was updating his Facebook status with what they’d been up to that day. Now she drew very different conclusions about what he had been doing on those occasions and many others. Looking through the events of those years in a cold light and rewriting her experience through her new knowledge made Theresa feel duped and angry, and she kicked herself for being so ‘naïve’.

---

Frank’s boss had been very supportive. He’d seen that Frank had been having to leave earlier than usual and had asked if there was anything the matter. Frank had confided in him that his wife was finding coping with their toddler daughter very draining so he had agreed to come home and take over the reins, finishing off any outstanding work after they had put her to bed. His boss had been stopping by his desk regularly since then, asking how things were going, and Frank felt valued and appreciated. He was happy he worked for such a progressive, flexible employer.

Yet when a junior colleague in his department was promoted ahead of him, the reason for Frank’s boss’s ‘supportive’ concern became apparent: he was checking whether or not Frank was up to the responsibility of the new role. Frank looked back on all the chats they’d had and on all the work he’d completed well and on time, and he felt cheated and resentful. He’d even taken his boss out for a slap up lunch to say thanks for his support. Frank now wondered whether his boss had been plotting against him all along, and spent long hours awake in bed unable to sleep because he was raking through every conversation they’d had for months and imagining his boss’s negative thoughts towards him.

---

Theresa’s story and Frank’s story may be far apart in context but they share a theme of altered perceptions. We all read our experiences in based on the information that is available to us at the time, mixed in with our assumptions, previous knowledge and the mood we're in. Theresa and Frank felt fully supported, then angry and resentful when they looked back at the experience with fresh knowledge.

Yet they were not wrong, stupid or naïve to feel happy at the time. And it is completely understandable why they may change how they interpret those past events given the information they have now.  But does it serve them to dig over events of the past and view them as more true / different than they had previously thought?

Most of us would find it hard not to take personally what Theresa and Frank experienced and to blame the 'errant' husband and 'unfair' boss, yet the cost is great to ourselves as we carry around the burden of resentment, which is like allowing the people we most dislike to reside in our heads rent free. It also means that we are far more likely to go to War with other people in our lives, becoming less tolerant, more mistrusting and more cynical - so we allow ourselves to become victims repeatedly, whilst continuing the cycle of blame.

A great way of breaking this cycle is to ask ourselves "what else could this mean?" We don't need to know the truth of why people do the things that they do - because the 'truth' is only ever a perception that is based on the information we have at the time, which we interpret through the lens of our past experiences. So, when Theresa chooses to decide that her husband's affair was nothing to do with anything she did or didn't do (e.g. it was about Theresa's husband being self-destructive because of his own demons, he has a sex addiction than he believes can only be fulfilled by other people etc.), and Frank's boss's decision was nothing to do with anything Frank's personal circumstances (e.g. Frank's boss was under pressure from his boss to meet the unpublished diversity statistics, he was having an affair with the person he promoted etc.), it allows them to begin to feel differently.

It is that simple. And we're not by any means suggesting it's easy!

Most of us have been brought up to think that other people and circumstances cause our pain. And it's so much easier to blame other people and feel victimised (after all, others in our friendship and family circles understand this way of operating) than to consider that we can feel entirely differently once we question our thinking and perceptions. For more on this, you might like this post. Otherwise, do come along to a War to Peace workshop and experience it for yourself.

Over to you

  • When you find  yourself digging up the past in your mind, consider the thoughts you have at the time and the thoughts you have now. What would be a more helpful way of thinking about this situation and the people involved?
  • If you are stuck and feeling very hostile and hurt, a healthy vent is extremely helpful to get out all the emotional pain and rage you are feeling. You can bash a cushion with a baseball bat whilst screaming or, if you're worried about the neighbours, write a completely uncensored letter to the person you feel has hurt you, really let yourself say everything you ever wanted to say to them. Then burn it. You will then be in a more resourceful emotional state to consider thinking about them in a different and more helpful way.

Do you know someone who could benefit from War to Peace?

If you know someone who spends a lot of time digging over the past, our next open-access War to Peace workshop is on 7 October. To join the waitlist, click here. To book onto our next workshop with spaces in March 2017, click here

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How can you dig over your past more helpfully?

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©Halcyon Global 2016

I had no choice…

Monday, August 8th, 2016

As a child, Claire’s mum was a senior leader in the Girl Guides. Claire was happy to join Brownies and then go up to Guides but, when she was around 13 or 14, her interests started to lead her elsewhere. She wanted to leave but her mum “heavily encouraged” her to stay.

walking-boots-IMG_2020One of the things about Guides that really irked Claire was the frequent, long hikes that her leader organised that Claire was expected to go on. She felt that she had no choice in going and grumbled along, staring at the floor and kicking stones in anger at every opportunity. Unsurprisingly, this didn’t make her brilliant company, so the other girls would forge ahead and leave her to her negativity, which flourished under such excellent growing conditions.

Claire was at War. With her mum, her leader, the other girls, herself and every tree, hill and stone on each walk she went on.

Fast forward thirty years and Claire is a well-respected coach who came along to one of the War to Peace workshops. In her spare time, Claire loves to take any opportunity she can to walk in the wild, and she shared a revelation about this that she’d had in the workshop with the group:

“I’ve just realised how I went from being at War to being at Peace when it comes to walking, and I think this may be the key to being able to change my mood quickly.

“Towards the end of my time in the Guides, we were staying on an outward bound style residential in some army barracks in Bavaria. I was moaning to Nick, one of the guys stationed there, about how much I hated walking and he really ‘saw’ me. He challenged me to come out with him the next day on the nearby Five Peak Trail, but he had some conditions: we could stop and rest whenever I wanted for however long I wanted; we could stop and go back to the barracks any time I wanted, and that he would carry lots of water and I only needed a daysack. I thought about it. It sounded better than the tree replanting exercise we were scheduled to do the next day, so I said yes. I figured I could bail out early and be back in my room eating chocolate by the afternoon anyway.

“The next day was a beautiful blue-sky day, and we set off up the first hill of the trail. I surprised myself by really enjoying it and, when Nick asked me if I was ok to go on, I was astonished by my own enthusiasm. We stopped frequently, drank water and admired the views and each time Nick asked me if I wanted to go on, I really did. We completed the trail and I enjoyed every step. For the very first time, I felt that I'd had a choice to hike or not!

“Since then, I’ve realised that I tend to go to War if I feel boxed into a situation or feel compelled to do something by someone else. I’ve become well practised at noticing when I hear myself saying "I had no choice" - either in my head or out loud, because the truth is, I always have a choice, even if it's a difficult one, or even if it's only a choice about how I'm choosing to view a situation. So these days, in situations that start to feel uncomfortable, I start to consider all my choices (even the difficult ones) and it seems to be a way to manoeuvre myself quickly back to being at Peace. As does going for a long walk, ironically! Thank you for helping me to make this connection to my relationships with other people I find difficult – I really feel that I have at last ‘joined the dots!’”

Over to you

  • Have you ever felt as though you had no choice in a situation? How did you feel?
  • How could looking for (maybe not immediately obvious) choices in a situation lead you to viewing the situation differently?
  • Have you unconsciously taken away someone else's choices about something? How could you help them to feel they have more choice next time?

Do you know someone who could benefit from War to Peace?

If you, or someone you know, would like to experience and understand more about being at War and learning how to be at Peace, even with the people you find most difficult, our next open-access War to Peace workshop with spaces is on 3 March 2017. We are running a waitlist for our workshop on 7 October (which sold out in July!) so if you would like to attend, do book yours today.

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"But I had no choice...!" If you hear yourself saying this, think again. 

 

 

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